You are slowly going up the roller coaster, and there comes that point when it stops. You’re at the highest peak and the anticipation of going down is killing you but you’re also waiting for it. There’s that little bubble of chaos stuck in your throat and it’s just about to come to surface, you know it’s coming. You are also aware. Aware that it is going to drop below, plunging into every single thing with so much of a rush that your eyes aren’t even open.
The roller coaster is silent now. Things are going to happen. You are ready for it.
But then something interesting happens. The second the roller coaster starts moving, it turns into a ferris wheel. So instead of the plunge, you are expected to just sit in that booth or whatever, and look around and appreciate the view. It is slow, uniform. You surely can enjoy it, the view is beautiful and all that, but there is so much of you that just wants the “it” you thought you were going to get. So now there’s a very big jumble of complex emotions which are just confused in their existence all together, and you don’t know how to feel because you are aware of their presence but it is all so contradicting.
There is logic and there is emotion. You experience an intensity of both in such perfect opposite and equal forces that you find yourself somewhere in between all of this, it is a mess.
If you find yourself relating to the above scenario, read on for the simple yet effective methods of dealing with this. Kindly note that this is my experience and you also have to make it your own. I cannot help directly, but I can help you help yourself.
External forces exist. You may not be in control but you are in control of how you experience what you experience.
Do not suppress these emotions. They are coming to you for a reason. Feel them all. Do not be scared or embarrassed or guilty or any of that. You are feeling, so feel with arms wide open.
Understand why they are there. There is always a trigger, which sets things off, if you cannot figure it out then spend time with yourself and do exactly that.
Accept them. Because cause and effect happens. Because it is complicated but it is still your reaction. You do not have to react in a “normal” manner, or a manner that is “accepted”. We are all different and so are how we process things; therefore please do not go down that road, or at least know that it is okay.
Once you are done with it, let it go. It’s just that; so cry or laugh or scream or whatever it is in this world that you feel like expressing and once you are done with it, truly done with it, move on. If you hold on to it you are living in the past and that is not advisable because you will always feel a sense of wanting more and all that.
Shit does happen. Avoid blaming. Because blame implies a little too much of unnecessary complexes which can easily be cut away by just thinking about it, instead of eating at our brains in such subtle ways that we don’t even question their basis.