The past few days have been quite interesting in terms of the things I’ve heard and more importantly things I’ve been told. Ranging from the problems of a free market to depression, clearly I wasn’t prepared for all of the above’s impact. In fact, I’ve been wanting to do the exact opposite, have fun by distracting my mind to just be. Live. All that. But I find that every time you resist somethings, it persists.A friend tagged me in a picture on Facebook where it claims that the human mind is a trap, and all we do is overthink and then think more and well, things begin to seem meaningless, things such as existing itself. And maybe that is true, but up to an extent.
But no. I don’t think the mind is a trap. In fact, I think it’s probably the only thing that sets you free, even from yourself. Sure there are time when thoughts rush in with like a flood and its overwhelming but calm yourself. That’s why your body can take deep breaths and in turn your mind can breathe as well. There’s also the fear of not letting your mind wander to places, which according to me just enhances the fear of visiting them. Don’t be afraid, it’s just you. IMPORTANT QUOTE: What you resist, persists.
Nobody is okay, and yet we all are. We live our lives, the world spins, and so on. What about normality and its qualms. What is healthy anymore.
In my context: I love being strong. And I absolutely love being weak, with things breaking me and then overcoming them. Challenges, essentially. Being the underdog. The happiness feels worth it. But what I do, is I wait for the next one, and if it doesn’t arrive I create it myself. That’s a pattern I am trying to understand. Because I love it, but apparently it’s not very good for me.
Now coming to diagnoses. Another friend told me that I’m apparently clinically depressed. Because I like my sadness a lot and I grow from it and it makes me stronger and it’s comfortable. That can probably be owed to my scene with tragedy, always been a fan. But rising from that, is what it’s about.
Anyway, diagnoses. I also studied abnormal psychology for a semester and there one of the first things I asked the teacher, or rather she asked us as well, was what is abnormal? And what isnt? Turns out there’s a curve, where it people fall on the extremes of it, there is something up with their brain/way of thinking.
To these people: only you know what you’ve been through, and in that prospect only you can truly understand why you do the things you do. Loneliness in these terms is beautiful because it allows your identity to be free, and truly feel the strength that you possess.
Essentially, be you, abnormally and normally, alter ego and every aspect of your identity, it’s all you. The happy, sad, angry, mad,c’est toi! Embrace the party of being human.