Truth and what ifs.

Its absolutely terrifying to not know, the absolution that comes with it leaves us with two choices; propel or be propelled. There’s a certain opening and closing of windows that takes place, and you come to realise the fact that there are no accidents. For me, I feel that existing itself is cosmic. Every single day is a blessing with seven thousand opportunities, and in the end, theyre all equal. Yet we choose some and negate the others. How do we know that we’re on the right path? Is there one to begin with? What is the point of choosing the lesser of two evils if the path is just another path? Honestly, who knows. Perhaps it’s a matter or personal morals. I know that I choose the one that makes me not cringe as much as the other, sometimes the one that’s obvious, but when it comes to the confusing ones, I never know. And I think a part of me will never know, there’s the big what if, but it’s just that. An if. It’s not what took place, but what would have. And in this manner, life goes on. You get a huge box of what ifs but there’s also the life that you’re living, the choices you’ve made, for a reason.
“You can drive, all night, looking for answers in the pouring rain. You wanna find peace of mind, looking for the answers.”

– Cage The Elephant, Cigarette Daydreams

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2 thoughts on “Truth and what ifs.

  1. This is lovely. Although I agree on a lot of what you said, I differ quite to sarge extent.
    It’s indeed flabbergasting, knowing that we live in such a subjective universe, where right and wrong are dictated by the majority. While you ponder longer over this, you realize everything around and within us is influenced by the majority, leading us to question, “is it the truth or do we assume it’s the truth because everyone believes it to be true?”
    For instance, the world sees the red apple, but the color deficient person sees it blue. *what if* we lived in a world where the majority were color deficient and they saw the apple blue and the one “normal” person saw it red. Who is right?

    “For me existing itself is cosmic”

    This hit right at home. Forget millions of complex decisions and particle reaction happening in our lives. I’m talking about something simpler. The fact of how much we know, let alone understand. If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that we all know something, but we are clueless as to how much there is to know. How can you form definitive opinions based on little knowledge/ information. How can you be sure on your stand of cosmic beliefs. Aliens. God. There could be, but my limited knowledge makes me believe there is/ is not. But does it stand true?

    “Every single day is a blessing with seven thousand opportunities”

    Here’s where I think differently. Life, as joyous and purposeful as it seems, to me, is a pointless journey. We all give various meanings and purposes to out lives, but all of that is subjective. There is, however, a single objective purpose pertaining to all living things. Death. When you ponder closer, you realize we are all born to die. Everything we do within this spectrum, is our way of preparing for the end.

    The best way to explain my thoughts would be to take life as a vacation. You arrive and you indulge in various activities available. This can be taken in two ways.
    #1 You don’t want to go on vacation but are forced to/ came here but realized it wasn’t what you expected- everything you do because of this is just to keep yourself from not getting bored till it’s time to go back (death).
    #2 You wanted to come here and it’s exactly what you thought it would be- you make most of what’s offered and indulge in activities available till it’s time to leave (death).

    But in any vacation, you come back with memories. Ones you cherish or detest. But can you say the same with life? If this is a vacation, where is home? If this is home, where am I going after death? Is existence as simple and insignificant as a temporary block which is wiped out as soon as it’s over leaving you with nothing to hold on to? If you’re leaving behind a legacy, how does it make you feel knowing that you’re leaving behind a legacy for others just like you. Temporary. Wiped out when they’re done.

    In short, why life?

    If there’s no life, am I asking for an empty void of nothingness?

    I’m not too sure how I feel about either.

    Like

    1. Hello! Firstly, thank you for your insights, I feel that they hold some very expanding information.

      Coming to the question, is it the truth or do we assume it’s the truth?
      My answer here would be, as mentioned in the post, personal morals. I believe in belief. What I’m trying to say by this is that I feel, there’s always the part of you that is aware, of whether they are sticking with crowd, accepting this blue apple, but certain others see the truth of the red. However, i don’t agree with the very existence of the word normal, because of a whole other narrative. Here there is no right or wrong, because it’s a personal choice isn’t it. The whole point of subjectivity is to understand the fact that we behave differently from one another. Sure there are underlying similarities in the bigger picture, but the workings of the mind and heart, even fingers and so on, differ.

      “How can you form definite opinions based on little knowledge/information?”
      Because I have this mind of mine, who works in mysterious ways. It has taken me a while to sync with its extremities, to truly understand how it functions. And I know this is just the beginning, because change is inevitable and there’s constant evolution (in one way). There’s always going to be that gap isn’t there, of reaching the absolution of truth. But I personally choose to let that inspire me to delve further into making that gap as tiny as possible, all the while knowing that it’s probably never going to close. (I’d love to be wrong).

      Now how can you be sure on your stand of cosmic beliefs?
      Because i take the mystery of the unknown to amaze me. That’s my foundation, wonder. And so I believe everything. Dragons, mermaids, aliens, parallel dimensions, you name it. And it’s honestly easier for me to perceive this reality through this lens, because I use magical realism to understand. And build these beliefs from the ground. They are overturned, destroyed, find themselves practically null. And then I start from there again, work my way higher, understand better, perceiving stronger.

      Every single day is a blessing, with seven thousand opportunities. I cannot tell you hard it has been for me to personally believe this myself, because like you said, it’s pointless. Born to die by Lana del Rey used to be one of my absolute favourite songs because the title itself made so much sense. But I find myself back to the innocence of beauty, within every single thing, and here I’d like to point another belief of mine, that in this world, its so much harder to be softer, with your approach to life in general. I used to absolutely romanticise death, because like you said it is a single objective purpose. But I use it the second way, I use it as my excuse to live life to the absolute maximum, whatever way I deem fit. The human experience: to cry and laugh, and stumble and evolve, all the messes and the flaws and everything in between that is involved. (Poetry is handy)

      Where is home? Within me, within me within the world where I am, within all the trees that I see even from a distance and all the people I interact with and so on.

      Impermanence too is temporary. I’d like to think that even the world will die out, and there will be that void. But I’ve grown to be comforted by the fact, by including balance here. The absence is also the presence. Why life; I have no idea, perhaps because it’s such a carnival of diversity? There are also an infinite potential answers but hey, what is life = existentialism 101.

      Like

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