magic sparks, lost in the dark.

It’s so sad to see, the magic that is lost, when beings or even bands choose another way. Look at Coldplay, for example, what in the world actually happened? They are “keeping up with the times”, which is obviously okay, but personally, I fail to hear the soul through lyrics or instruments that they once were so in full bloom of. Man, X and Y. Parachutes. A Rush Of Blood To The Head. They transcend time for me, they truly make me wonder with awe, the amazing mysteries that have yet to be discovered, make me feel so much and somehow, they are who they are today.

We do change man, we change a lot.

So much so that some of our past selves are so unrecognisable that they end up being perceived as this once upon a distant land that existed strangely, and somehow, here we are, through it all,

Where you are, says a lot. About the places you’ve been to, and the places you go, and of course, the place where you’re currently at.

More than anything, for me, it portrays the morality within the choices that you have made, for are you truly happy to be here? If not here, then where?

If not now then when? When, where, how were you, you?
Was it 3 weeks ago, when you woke up and suddenly the world seemed okay, even if it was for just a fraction of a second,
Will it be 4 months into the future, when you finally make that trip you have been planning?

All these small, petty disregards,

All the past and future dissonant hearts,

Here you are, and you will change,

No absolute doubt,

You will evolve or diminish so hard that earthquakes will come alive,

And you will find the fluidity of this transience that we call existing,

The calmness and the chaos that we sometimes call spiritual heavy lifting.

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outside the gates.

man, that’s not the way.

this extremist stance you undertake,

for revolution and for justice that’s at stake,

understand, you must coagulate

the rebellious with the ones that follow names,

meet at the halfway of underlying fate,

victory can be sweet but also desolate,

in order for sustenance we need to debate

upon which holds more impact,

the understanding, or the hate.

On field.

I am writing this after a battle. The kind where you have emerged victorious, through blood, sweat and tears and always giving up but also getting up and breathing. Holding your stance, even through the disbelieving, and after all that struggle, you are free. The horses have rode past, the jungle lies peaceful at last, the kind of peace that arises with the becoming of yourself, is just that, it’s just there.

But now, you see a raven flying towards you,

It holds a letter, and you have to see it through,

Opening this script, to read what lies inside

Shakes you up, wholly, now it’s a wild ride

It says oh, my apologies, I sent you to the wrong ground,

This battle you have fought has been for a reason, I’m sure, but for no sound,

This latitude that you reside in now, must be shaken up,

For the true battle awaits, the one we’ve spoken of.

But, but, you stutter, softly,

I did it, I did THIS, not so low now,

The rage begins to unfold as you take in the surroundings,

All the gore and death you had to withhold,

Emerges now, full force,

You fall to the ground, the earth resonates with the profound,

How ironic, this life can be,

You can win all these battles and still fall to thee,

Perhaps we must accept all these higher powers, that reside above our heads,

The soft and the fury,

The blood and the glory,

Every single facet of feeling freely,

Comes with a price of seeing clearly,

It’s a gift, for the most,

But for some they struggle,

To find that true balance,

After having pierced that bubble.

Is this what lies ahead for me? he asks,

The sad soldier, who is tired, who is losing hope so fast,

I want to go home, he admits, to the sky and the earth,

I want to rest my head, I want to forlorn.

Strive, my warrior, you are more than a soldier,

For this rebellion to occur you must strive through this disaster,

Hold your ideals, forgive your tyrants,

But don’t accept that this is the end of your quest,

You’re not even halfway there, on this road that lies ahead.

You made this choice didn’t you, o fighter?

You decided to hold your might, didn’t you, o liar?

Is that all you decide to be,

A cruel and twisted filler for thee.

Just another, rubble hidden,

Lying waste on the side,

While some of us are forgiven.

Stand up, feel your strength,

And rise above this wicked way that’s bent!

This dramatic stance, he begins to take,

Now, he truly looks like a warrior, filled with rage,

I will fight, for what I believe in,

For my body may be crushed, but my hope will still seethe in,

I will fight, for what I see to be right,

For the victory of freedom,

For the rebellious might!

I stand, with my bruised heart,

I stand, with my following call,

Glory be to all those who strive,

To survive, in this wicked world, to the dying sights,

Sing, o citizens of earth,

Sing in ecstasy, the song of the heavens,

Freedom is coming,

It’s on its way,

Tomorrow will come, with another way,

But for that we must strive through today!

Be your own lotus, in any given water,

Feel the deepened earth that doesn’t shatter,

In spite of all that she has witnessed,

This great mother,

Still forgives us,

Still holds our brothers.

O my lord, give me the strength,

To relax these sorrows,

To ease into my strength,

O my sisters, help me fight,

Draw your swords,

Do not go gently into that night.

spaces

This is going to hurt. Maybe typing this out as opposed to writing it makes it a little less unreal, yet objective in its sense. But this is going to hurt, a lot. Because it matters, it mattered so much, and certain things come into your life, but buddy, they also have to go no? The importance in being independently okay, is a step closer to being independently happy. And the thing is, we live in a world surrounded by one another. There are always going to be humans around, unless we consciously isolate ourselves. But till then, give, and take, all that you can learn and create with this collective, because once you do isolate yourself, whether in a room alone or a universe thats your own, you need to be actively there, here, wherever this is, and find yourself okay, happy, free.

To get to these remarkable spaces, there are thorny roads, no doubt, but i guess its your choice as to how you want to tread through. With the shoes on or off, be there for yourself, be kind and gentle, and try to understand the spaces you’ve dissolved in and the spaces you have found your resolve in This masterpiece of fantasy that only you can truly ever understand, or hold the hope to understand, can find its way back to you, in a number of maze like corridors that never end-yet there is light at the end of the tunnel kind of way.

Love,

Anushka.

the price

sacrifice, with balance.

The price i pay, for this sensitivity to be maintained,

not upscaled, but sustained,

constantly.

 

It is difficult, to live this life where every tiny thing is perceived and endorsed in the head and the heart to fill up the soul with this existence wholly,

and it is even more difficult to induce substances that enhance any part of this,

because as it is things are overwhelming as fuck.

i dont want this anymore,

i’m so done.

i’ve been so done for so long now,

but keep coming back like it’s no big deal,

or rather allowing myself to do so.

Enough, here is where the boundaries are drawn,

its not restrictive,

it’s self discipline,

to know that its okay not to rebel against yourself,

to remove that persistent seed of nagging away at the mind,

to say look, let me go,

live and let live.