you know, i absolutely love change.
i love how what once was can give way to the present and reconfigure itself for the future and voila! you have a wonderful mix of change is truly the only constant, as you grow and grow and flow with all that is presented to you.
it gives me tears, to know the things we leave behind, but theres a smile through these, because who else if not ourselves are going to walk our own path, there is only one. you see, i am not you, and your are not me, but we are all holistically one, and so, i feel, that we should approach one another with love, and support, to grow, to change, to remain as true to their core as possible.
i believe in an ideal world, and it doesn’t have to match the current situation, but that doesn’t mean I’m not striving to bring my dreams one more step to being true 🙂
for me, love is that way, and always has been.
unconditional love that is all forgiving and all embracing,
and releases more and more each day.
thank you ❤
to lay awake knowing that things do fall into place,
whether it stays or you remain, the love sprinkled dust finds its way back home,
and when the tears fill your eyes like pools of the truest disguise,
the one with no lies,
you will find your beautiful tune.
Its been the longest time since I’ve done this.
Experienced this existence so vivaciously; truly exploring and exploding through such an adventurous lens; through that of snakes.
How did that happen?
A snake workshop, called STORM (Scientific Training On Reptile Management).
Where you were taught how to rescue snakes, to understand the different kinds of snakes, first aid, how to treat them in such a way that while you are rescuing them, they are at complete ease, or at least you do your absolute best for the environment to be calm, smooth and the opposite of alarming.
This workshop, even though it was just for two days, transformed my world, into a world where the 17-18 residents that inhabited it were wildlife enthusiasts, and so, conversations that buzzed about nesting, all the spots to see and turtle walks to go, all the volunteering that can be done, and problems with the government officials and son were covered. Like bees of a hive we constantly flew together, with our wings soaring from those of dragonflies to the fluttering ones of butterflies as we darted our way through the evolution of reptiles, to the way to respect and keep the snake calm while rescuing.
I held a snake for the first time in my life yesterday.
Today was my second, where I got the beautiful opportunity to release it back into the wild. And must I say, wow.
What truly magnificent creatures, that literally, in this moment, leave me breathless.
The thing about these kinds of experiences is just that, its the experience. It’s indeed so very rare to find these, the ones that truly bring about this concrete difference; where suddenly the world around you is no longer the same, as you begin to notice the tiny nuances of nature just a little bit more, in the micro level, which in turn translates to the holistic beauty unveiled on a macro scale, and what an unbelievable one at that.
I came home today, and practically had withdrawals to be honest. I can’t just come back to this room and lie down, switch on the tv and chill?
That is not an option.
I was left with so much of energy and adrenaline, for just life in general and so, I packed my laptop and iPod and walked outside.
And wow, with the brightest smile on my face as the trees swayed and the music playing and man, I cant go back.
How can i?
When my vision has been so cleared, and things that matter have become a little less blur, to truly understand the magnificent beauty in this world, how on earth can i just go back? I guess that’s a story for another time; what happens next.
Coming to yet another absolute blessing, this one was the other students of this workshop.
To be honest, I entered saying to myself its okay anushka, you don’t have to make friends or talk to anyone or anything, you’re here for you, for your enthusiasm of the same.
But somehow, so so so naturally, conversations just flowed out from each of us, perhaps because we were all united by our passion and excitement and more than anything, every single person was there with such a good intention. One person was in the venom manufacturing industry, so he wanted to study how to truly handle the snakes properly. Another was a mother who witnessed a snake being killed in her farm and this traumatic event made her want to actually do something about it.
Another was there solely because she had this undying fascination for snakes, and flew from Bombay just for this. And so on.
Every one was so genuine, which is rare especially for such a big crowd. In fact, since we all shared lunch and one of the breakfasts together, I also learnt so much from some of them, the ones I got a chance to fully interact with, and understood just how diverse this world is. To be reminded that you are but another person in this world of diversity and numbers, each number not just a digit, but a representation of something so much more, a living being, with conscious lives being lived in such interestingly different way. More than that, the humbleness with which you can approach one another, regardless of these differences.
Lastly, coming to our instructor. Once again, I have no words to describe the actual, true passion that this man has for snakes. Gowri Shankar, who has rescued and released over 300 snakes, and is heavily into rescuing and understanding snakes, the King Cobra in particular. He not only brought his authentic self, which lets agree, is quite rare in today’s world, but made the atmosphere so comfortable for all of us to just be ourselves, and also interacted with all of us on a personal level. In the beginning of the workshop I was quite anxious, solely because it was a lot of people and my brain was just unnecessarily panicking, but 2-3 hours into it and I was me, plain old (and strange) anushka. What I loved most is that he held truth in every thing he said, and for a person whose senses are trained into spotting the inauthentic, not once did I question this man’s intention or self.
Today, towards the end of the workshop, I was contemplating, or rather calculating exactly how this was possible, this beautiful and genuine atmosphere that I spoke so fondly of.
And that’s when I realized that it had a lot to do with the very topic of this workshop, nature. You see, as I mentioned earlier, each person wanted to be here for themselves. And so, that subtle positive intention, I feel, manifested thousand fold and cultivated us into this humble, and wonderful collective of students who wanted to learn more and more.
Here again I was reassured of the power that nature has, with its beauty, and with its truth, with how it truly does bring out the best in us, however bold; however nude.
Once, a friend told me that in this whole universe, its solely upto you to make yourself truly happy. No one’s going to do it for you, so love, and give without expecting, make your oceans boundless.
There is so much truth to this, even in terms of the tiniest of things, such as favours, such as speakers and listeners, and so on.
Sometimes the electric guitars say more than you have ever wanted to hear, and those moments of bliss, as it rains outside, fulfils no?
Give in to yourself, to love all that you dont usually caress,
Live and let live,
“Why on earth do we wear better and better?
To reflect, of course the inside soul who feels comfortable in a sweater.
But we swim with ‘daring’, ‘edgy’, ‘chic’, all of it to show our dynamism, because this, this, is who I really am, not the intention of my self as a being interacting with other beings in this matrix like projection, instead, what I choose to ‘put on’ speaks it for me.
Babies, speak more from the heart. And if you see fashion as art then that’s wonderful. But feel it no, for real, don’t mask upon layers of ‘attitude’ and ‘spunk’ for the same.”
And here is where I defend my stance, politically; the cosmic nature of it. You see, I’m okay with fashion as art, for our existence is a celebration, and so we curate our bodies in a certain way to express our souls, neverending with its mixes and matches, fully feeling the colours we are seeing.
The essence of my stance lies in the standardisation of fashion, the objective nature upon which something is appealing or not. And so, we are left with commercial stores like Forever 21, and H&M to fall upon, the monopolies of fashion today, whose styles are all made for skinny people, where the larger sizes are merely more material attached rather than understanding and fitting different bodies.
You see, i love my body, i really do. And no, i am not skinny. And i woke up this morning, looked into the mirror and saw myself, and loved it, i saw my beauty and was flattered, and stepped out of the bathroom feeling loved by myself. Entering the trial room, however, suddenly my stomach spoke to me; i feel like i dont belong here, i have to change for these jeans to fit me. They were my size, UK 12, but apparently super skinny jeans imply that you ought to get the next. And the didnt have the next. Like this, i tried on 2 tops, 4 different bottoms, all to no avail. Either my bust was too big or my stomach was. And looking into that mirror, I no longer could see me. I could see a person who was self-conscious, but i am not self-conscious and i love that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and hell, i’m self-aware, self-loved, and wonderful. Where did all of that go?
I came out of the trial room cranky, done with even attempting to look for anything more, and left.
Looking back, i really dont blame myself.
A lot of people tell me to calm down, and not think so into things. But i will be unapologetic for the way my mind works, for if i see through things that are veiled so seamlessly, i will call them out.
And so, these outfits in these stores, this fashion, needs to accommodate the human condition of diversity.
Global markets speak, magnitudes of their perception of quite literally, the world. And stores like H&M and Forever 21 are some of them. Guys, reiterate body styles, dont make us change to suit this standardised beauty as such that you seem to promoting.
Here’s an interesting observation:
Zara, who is also a serious global retail company, holds styles for all, in fact some of their tags feature different bodies, all in harmony.
I was wondering what differs amongst these three brands, and i realised that not only is Zara more expensive (and way more at that, and of course excellent quality), it’s also aimed at a relatively more mature consumer market. Sure, they do have some thing for everyone, but the vibe that one gets when they enter Zara is ‘class’y, as opposed to the ‘fun’, and ‘fresh’, Forever 21. H&M i feel, lies in the middle ground somehow, but unfortunately does not support the vibrant diversity of our bodies as apparently.
What i’d like to point out is that this observation of mine, if true, S U C K S. Why? Because its almost like we attempt to nurture this skinniness into the young crowd in hopes of skinny adults.
But when it comes to adults, since they are adults, they get a pass with their money and are given that expensive opportunity to embrace their bodies.
Start with the start. Point this out. Dont succumb to the ‘style’ or ‘trend’, instead create your own unique beauty blend.
And for everyone and anyone who is reading this;
Dil se pehno, dil se jiyo ❤
(Translation: wear from the heart, live from the heart <3)
May I just insert here how alien I am to the world of fashion inspite of understanding it almost a little too thoroughly.
And what will you say?
To all the things that you force to remain,
It’s strange, all the facts that we know,
Intuitively, resonating, the ones that feel the whole,
It’s known, that you are going to lose everything
and you should probably let it go,
To succumb to the pain,
to let yourself grow.
But we choose, instead,
the stubbornness and the despair,
So rather than lighter and feathrly ever after,
we find the martyrs, the holding for seven shades darker,
Releasing the light, my friend,
one by one the fire striving might,
Will find its way back to you and one day,
you will find yourself lighter, higher, thrilled with delight,
Remember to worship the grace of the courtship,
of beauty and truth and marvel at the new
For Einstein quoted the famous notion
that those who do not wander with love down the mysterious
Are as good as dead, however academically victorious.
there’s not so much pressure from the external as much as the internal to clear things up, redefine what its like to be in this world, of paradoxes and silent foxes and also sharks. lizards. bugs.
to be honest, i feel like most of the time i work things backward, start from the end and spiral in and out of redeeming phases, and then somehow, pick up the bruised and battered and shine.
this time though, it’s something different. it’s i dont even know what, i just know that its different.
and here’s the thing, i’ve never done this before, and so, i’m more clueless than ever.
perhaps its because i constantly use the brain to churn out things that haven’t even happened yet, or that it ends up being a chaotic overspread of thoughts that aren’t as tangled as they are intricate.
i didnt realise that this is me.
but here i am, realising new things day by day,
and finding myself a little closer to the bay,
spiralling in and out,
tuning down and about,
relentless, and figuring ‘life’ out,
one step at a time, sometimes with the silence, and sometimes with a shout.
i guess it gets rudimentary when you constantly sway back and forth without really touching the ground yet wanting to understand how the grass grows here, what peculiar shade of green merges with the foundation of the beings below,
and how we fit into this picture.
in the way that you begin to be, begin to see, and receive, the heart aches and the mind forlorns and the soul knows but grows a bit cold all the while the body raises the heat, and the pores begin to feel, and the stuffiness at times calls out for defeat.
to still fight because you have it in you, its just a matter or bringing it out and dusting off the dew,
free writing, free flowing, free holding out,
for the beauty from within to slowly emerge and remain; and not shout.